You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize