I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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