I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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