Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
