Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
