im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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