I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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