I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
