i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I supernannyed him into submission
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