Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i think my cat just said my name.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
