You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
