That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just want nice things and good sex
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
