3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
