We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
