I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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