I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
