why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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