I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
