no, he came in my armpit
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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