Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
