hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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