I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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