it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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