just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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