Heybabeimwearingurpanties
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
