hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
