Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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