just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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