I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
