like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
