Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Green mimosas i think yes
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
