she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
