The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
