I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
