Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
