either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
