The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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