this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize