My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
