I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
