I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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