oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
