Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Everyone says I win the strip club
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize