lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
