the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
