addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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