just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
