I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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