Jerry, you need to find god
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
