I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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