The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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