We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize