now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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