At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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