those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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