My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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