good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Someone stole a lamp last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
