woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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