I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
