life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
