it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
