im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
